before :: after

"hey,"

you say,

"i thought we had this conversation already."

we did, i reply, we did
but it was just me talking and you
laughing.

you're red now, pale coloration, the lack of pigment in your skin gives away your emotions...

the pink you turn when you're nervous,
but also the pink
when you're happy

the shade i tend to associate with several of your statuses--

"are we going to try and go to the play this weekend?" you ask.

i say, if you want to, then we will.

you say that you're going,

and i ask if you want me to go with you.

you say, "sure,"

i say NO! sure isn't a good enough answer--

just say yes, yes is easy enough,
say it if you want me there...

"if you're going, and i'm going, i just figured, then, we should go--

or anyone else, for that matter...,"

(but we know no one is coming along besides you and i)

i shake my head.

the flush is back in your cheeks,
there are five of us all together
sitting in my room
at our various posts
reading from volumes of poetry,
you've got your
william carlos williams, making soft apologies for "not being well-versed" in this gang of english majors,

but no one notices or minds.

it is this simple:
if you want me there, just say so.

there were the months, semesters of complications, stoicism, and here
we've gotten past the stiffness,
you stand leaning against the wall

look me square in the eye
when we laugh about that poem with the plums. throw your neck back, your adam's apple poking out through the pallored skin,

tugging at your sweater, deep, green, with an irregular-patterned knit,

"we should," you pause, move forward, duck underneath my stooping doorway,
face pinkening,
"we should do this again, next week."

i tell you, okay.
i tell you
we can do whatever you want.