before :: after

yes,

he invited me to come sit with him. almost everyone else was still off campus for the long weekend.

"human contact!" he exclaimed when he saw me. his eyes lit up. he had glasses on, i didn't know he wore glasses. i told him they looked nice.

and they did -honest truth- really endearing. only i don't have feelings for him.

*i carried my art project down to his room and sat on the floor... scissors, glue stick, magazine clippings. i said it was supposed to be a statement about gender roles and domesticity.

he didn't understand. his mom is an executive. she doesn't cook. she doesn't do housework.

i don't know what i see when i see him looking at me. i don't want to see what i think might be there. i don't believe it, because i can't and because i don't want to.

i am shutting down.

this is not allowed.

he should stay away.

*(edit) after leaving our dorm to visit a male friend next door. i came back and lied to him about where i was.